Reading Between the Lines
by victimofmywoes
Summary: Apparently becoming lovers after 22 years of being best friends wasn't as easy as they'd thought. There would be a lot of firsts now. Morning breath was just the beginning...
1. On Morning Breath

_**On Morning **_**_Breath_**

_**A/N:**_ It began with a random thought that popped in my head while brushing my teeth this morning (hence the thought) and escalated to madness by the time I was doing my laundry. There will be more maddening thoughts considering my brain is really stuck to this. Please bear with the madness of the mind.

**_**Disclaimer: **_**Naruto and all its characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto.

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><p><em><span>At Naruto's End:<span>_

The sudden want to kiss Sasuke was overwhelming. True they had just graduated from being best friends to lovers just last night and despite the 22 years they had spent together, it wasn't a big deal. But for some unfathomable reason, Naruto was quite reluctant to do it.

Oh wait, there was a reason.

_You can't do it. You have morning breath; _well the nasty voice in his head was not helping matters.

_So what? Am I the only one? _The uncaring voice piped up.

_What if Sasuke hates it? _

_Do you really care?_

_Of course I do!_

_Then don't do it. _The nagging Naruto in Naruto's brain shrugged.

_But I want to…_

_Then go brush your teeth, make coffee for him like a dutiful housewife and claim your morning kiss._

_Shut up! But should I be the one to initiate the kiss?_

_Are you mad?_

_Yeah, I know. Bad idea, right? _Naruto bit his lip in thought.

_Of course! What if it offends Sasuke?_

_But what if Sasuke likes it? _Optimism at its best.

_Likes what? Your morning breath?_

_Fuck you! The kiss._

_Get real Uzumaki!_

_What if he does?_

_You really are stupid! Sasuke doesn't lie when he tries to say this to you ten thousand times a day._

_Shall I give it a try?_

_What can I say?_

_Fine, let's do it!_

_Uzumaki Naruto you've lost your mind._

_Indeed…_

Naruto pretended to wake up and turn towards Sasuke sleepily.

* * *

><p><em><span>At Sasuke's End:<span>_

_Should I initiate the kiss? _Eager Sasuke spoke up.

_Are you _insane_?_The frigid and rude Sasuke nipped the thought in the bud.

_What's so wrong with initiating the kiss?_

_Have you _smelled _your breath?_

_Well…_

_Look dude, if you open your mouth right now and think about kissing Naruto, you can very well kiss your chances of having the most earth-shattering sex goodbye._

_Should I brush my teeth before that then?_

_Are you _that _desperate to kiss him Sasuke?_

_Well you know how good a kisser he is!_

_What about pride and self-respect?_

_What about need?_

_Is that important than your breath which probably is more stinky than a gorilla's breath?_

_Yes_

_Just do it then._

Sasuke shifted his butt a little and made to move towards Naruto when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He froze for the fraction of a second but then a thought occurred to him and he turned lazily and pretended to blink his eyes sleepily.

"'Morning," Naruto rasped out and winced internally at the _fakeness _of the rasp.

Sasuke smiled in response and winced internally at the _nervousness _he felt. This was even more difficult than he thought. "Good morning."

Awkwardness ensued to a level past bearing, both parties thinking of the best way to initiate the kiss.

Sasuke thought gazing deeply into Naruto's eyes was the best idea to get to the kiss, so he opened his eyes wide and turning it into the most smoldering gaze of the century, focused it on Naruto.

Naruto apparently had the same thought and within seconds the smoldering gazes had turned into a staring contest.

_This is not going to work, _Sasuke's brain supplied sadly while his eyes fought against watering and blinking.

_One of us needs to initiate physical action, _the panicked voice in Naruto's head escalated to a shriek.

_What kind of action? _Sasuke's brain commanded urgently his eyes almost at the brink of giving up.

_Um, how about extending your hand and grabbing his? _Naruto's mind supplied weakly.

_Will it be alright if I initiate it? _Sasuke's pride once again battled in his chest.

_Please initiate it Sasuke or else my eyes will kill me! _Naruto wished the voice in his head would reach Sasuke's.

It happened in an instant. Their hands met, their lips crashed against each other while their eyes closed in relief.

Three seconds of mouth fucking later, Naruto broke for air and winced.

"As I thought…" he spoke turning to Sasuke and they both nodded in agreement.

"This really was a bad idea." Sasuke spoke their thought, turning away and getting out of bed.

_Love or not, kissing with morning breath was a bad idea. A _very _bad idea indeed._

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><p><em><strong>Reviews would be lovely.<strong>  
><em>


	2. On Morning Wood

_**On Morning Wood (2/5)**_

_**A/N: **_I really do not have much to say about this, save for the fact that it is in no way related to the previous chapter. Also, once again, please bear with the madness of the mind.

_**Warnings:**_ There are none actually. But yeah, language (for some) and over-thinking over certain...um...matters?

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><p><em><span>At Sasuke's End:<span>_

It was the arm around his waist that broke his sleep. It was heavy and stifling and Sasuke squirmed a little reluctant to open his eyes to the morning…yet. The hand was a strange feeling and it certainly made him feel a little disgruntled to share his bed with Naruto. Besides if it was just the hand, Sasuke could have lived with it.

He moved a little and Naruto shifted sleepily spreading his body full-length beside Sasuke's. And just then Sasuke felt _it _poke him.

_Is that what I think it is? _

_Oh god! Does Naruto have…_morning wood?

_Awesome! Just awesome!_

_Should I help him with that?_

_What? And creep Naruto out when he wakes up to your hand on his dick? You're such a pervert._

_Well, certain matters should be taken in…hand, so to speak._

_Before that, are you certain that's his dick and not his…knee maybe?_

_Are you kidding me? Of course it is his dick!_

_Prove it!_

_Well, for one, Naruto is the same height as me. Secondly, his feet are right beside mine and they are fucking cold! Also, his knees are poking mine too. So it's obvious it's his thing poking my butt._

_You win. But what now? Should you pretend to ignore it? Pretend it never poked your butt?_

_Hang on! Doesn't this mean Naruto is having a dirty dream?_

_Fuck you! Of course he is! Besides morning wood is normal!_

_Yeah I know. Do you think I should give him a porno mag to relieve his little problem?_

_You call that "little"?_

_Okay, Naruto's abnormally _large _problem?_

_Like he'd want a mag when he has you beside him! You are an idiot Sasuke!_

_I know dammit! But what do I do?_

_Ignore it!_

_I feel like taking care of it._

_Are you crazy?_

_Then what am I supposed to do?_

_Ignore it!_

_Ignore?_

_You heard me. Yes, ignore it._

Sasuke shook his head and bit his lip in thought. Just then, Naruto lifted one of his legs and put it on top of Sasuke trapping him completely.

_You know it's reached your ass crack. _Wow, talk about stating the obvious.

_I can feel it too, dumbass._

_Man you can't just ignore it like that!_

_What if Naruto wants you to take care of it while he feigns sleep?_

_You have a point._

_Then do it!_

_But this is kind of embarrassing…_

_What? It's not the first time you've felt it, right?_

_But we were fifteen then…and hormonal!_

_And what happened to your hormones now Sasuke?_

_Stop going in that direction! You're turning me on!_

…

_Sorry I didn't mean to sound like a twisted pervert._

_Yeah, you scared me there for a second, pal._

_Anyway, back to the problem at hand. What should I do?_

_Ugh, stop thinking in circles Sasuke. You're back to where you started._

_But why can't I come up with a plausible solution Sasuke?_

_Okay, help him._

_You mean jerk him off?_

_What else?_

_Should I suck him off or jerk him off?_

_What do you want to do?_

_Either way is fine._

_You know you really are a pervert._

_Fuck you!_

_We're going there again._

_Sorry._

Sasuke moved his hand a little south, close to where Naruto's problem was. Slowly his hand crept towards Naruto's boxers but he rested it on his thigh.

_Do you think he's really asleep?_

_Well he _is _breathing deeply and is still dead weight on top of me._

_Do it before he finds out._

_But what if he wakes up if I am in the middle of it?_

_Who cares? Besides he will be receiving pleasure. It's not like he would want to complain._

_Fine. _Sasuke squared his shoulders, gave himself a resolute nod and moved his hand to action.

His only prayer was that Naruto wouldn't wake up before he was done with it.

* * *

><p><em><span>At Naruto's End:<span>_

_You have a little problem._

_I know. Why couldn't I dream of something else?_

_Like what?_

_Er…ramen?_

_Like seriously? Anyway, your problem is poking Sasuke._

_I know. _

_Should I wake him up and tell him I want to have sex?_

_Really?_

_Um…no._

_Should I go to the washroom and relieve myself?_

_What if it makes Sasuke think he's not good in bed?_

_How would that happen?_

_Isn't it obvious? Using your own hand instead of his could really hurt his ego._

_You have a point._

_I always do._

_Shut up. You sound just like Sasuke._

_Anyway, I have a plan._

_What? What is it?_

_You could pretend to be asleep and get your problem closer to him to see how he reacts._

_You mean I make the first move?_

_Is that a crime?_

_Well, I don't want to sound desperate._

_You know, Sakura and her pathetic lifestyle are growing on you._

_Do not bring Sakura into the conversation. You'll kill my boner._

_Now listen to me very carefully. Lift your leg and place it on top of Sasuke. Make some throaty, sleepy sound as if you're shifting positions and continue to breathe deeply while pulling him closer._

_What will doing that achieve?_

_Ugh moron! You'll get to know if he's awake or asleep._

_But I already know he's awake. His breathing is not as deep as it should be._

_Then that's good! You'll get to know his reaction!_

_Um…_

_Are you scared?_

_Yeah…kind of._

_Pussy!_

_Hey! You're a part of me too you know?_

_Okay. Now do it._

Naruto did as required. He continued breathing deeply, moaned low in his throat and moved his leg on top of Sasuke's body. Instantly, Sasuke froze.

_It was the wrong move! He totally froze!_

_Yeah. Maybe it's because you're too…heavy?_

_Maybe. But it could also be because your dick is now poking his ass crack?_

_It feels so good! I wish he'd move his butt a little._

_You're such a pervert._

_What? Its human need, you know?_

_Hang on! He moved his hand._

_He totally hates me now._

_Yeah your life is over buddy._

_I will miss the sex._

_Pervert._

_Oh wait; did Sasuke just put his hand on my thigh?_

_Is he going to throw my leg off him?_

_I told you he hates it!_

_Shut up. He hasn't thrown it off him yet._

_But that doesn't mean he won't._

_Shut up will you? It feels like he's hesitating._

_He hates me. He thinks I'm a pervert._

_Exactly how old are you?_

…

_Good, now stay that way. Let's wait for his reaction._

_Oh my god! Oh my god! Just he just…_grab _my dick?_

_Is he…is he really going to jerk me off?_

_I think he is. His face looks pretty resolute._

_Oh yes Sasuke, oh yes! God you do it so well!_

_Atta boy! Plan successful!_

_Now what? Continue feigning sleep till you come?_

_Then what? Should I open my eyes and tell him I'm awake?_

_Won't that make it a little…awkward?_

_Hmm…it could._

_What if he wants me to wake up?_

_Why would he do that?_

_Maybe the reason he's doing this is to initiate something else?_

_Yeah, that could be true._

_What should I do?_

_Open your eyes a crack. If Sasuke is watching your eyes, it means he wants you to stay sleeping._

_What if he's watching my eyes to see my reaction when I wake up?_

_That could be true…_

_Oh dilemma, dilemma!_

_Did you just say dilemma?_

_What else should I say?_

_What about shutting up and enjoying this feeling?_

_Yeah. You know now that I think about it, that opening my eyes a crack sounds like an excellent plan._

_But what if you open your eyes more than a crack?_

_I mean with all the dirt surrounding your lashes, say, you couldn't see through that crack and you end up opening them wide?_

_Oh and then Sasuke will know I'm awake._

_Anyway, groan or moan now. You look like a vegetable lying like that._

_Yeah, yeah. I totally forgot about that._

_Man can't you feel all those sensations you were waxing poetic about last night?_

_I can. But thanks to you, I'm slightly distracted._

_Stop thinking, groan and open your eyes a crack._

Naruto groaned as Sasuke sped up his hand. As planned, he opened his eyes a crack but just like the sensible voice in his head had warned, the crack was caked with dirt and so he couldn't see a thing. He groaned again, this time in frustration and opened his eyes wider.

Guilty black eyes met equally guilty blue and Sasuke's hand froze in action.

Then both set of eyes went down to Sasuke's hand and rose back to meet each other again.

"Um, sorry…?"

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><p><em><strong>Reviews would be lovely!<strong>  
><em>


	3. On Taking a Shower Together

_**On Taking a Shower…Together**_

_**A/N - **_Did anyone notice the rating change? Yes this little piece of madness has a lot of things happening. There is also reference to the previous chapter. Once again, please bear with the madness of the mind!

_**Warnings: **_Yaoi (if you read a little between the lines), mental quibble. Oh and a few incoherent thoughts here and there which are purely intentional in nature.

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><p>Ever since the awkwardness of the previous situation, eye contact had become some kind of a major problem. They sauntered around carefully almost treading on tiptoes around each other to avoid eye contact which was a good thing since eye contact would have eventually led to something they didn't want to deal with – conversation.<p>

From the corner of his eye, Sasuke watched Naruto pull out a towel from the cupboard and move towards the bathroom.

_He's going in to shower._

_Oh really? I didn't know!_

_Shut up!_

_If you want me to shut up, then stop stating the obvious._

_Wait, he just turned to look at you before stepping in._

_Does this mean he wants you to join him?_

_No wait! His look is more like that of someone who thinks of you as a creep._

_Anyway, he's gone now. There's no way we can share the shower anymore._

_Yeah dude, tough luck._

Grimly Sasuke nodded and stood beside the bathroom door.

_You're one hopeless asshole, you know that right?_

_What? A man is entitled to hope, you know?_

_You're out of your freaking mind._

Sasuke leaned his head against the door and huffed in frustration.

_Yeah so what if I am?_

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><p><em>He's standing outside your bathroom door.<em>

_I have a pair of eyes too._

_Are you going to invite him in?_

_Should I invite him?_

_Well, do you want to?_

_You could answer that question too you know, considering how you and I are the same entity…_

_Um…I want to invite him in._

_Will it be alright to?_

_God Naruto why do you have to think so much?_

_Because it is Sasuke who is standing at the other side! Had it been…okay let's not go there._

_What? Now you're afraid of talking about Sai?_

_I wasn't thinking about Sai!_

_Stop lying to me._

_Okay I was…only a bit._

_No you weren't. You were thinking about what would have been if Sai had been on the other side of this door._

_And what would have that been?_

_Sai wouldn't have been there in the first place._

_Where would he have been then?_

_Don't you know? He would have you against the wall by now and – _

_Stop! Let's not go there, please?_

_Right! It's not Sai who we should be worrying about._

_Yeah, it's Sasuke on the other side. _Sasuke!

_Man I heard you the first time. You don't have to go on with the unnecessary emphasis._

_Sorry but I was just trying to make a point here._

_Oh but talking about Sai, do you still think Sai thinks your "thing" is the size of a finger?_

…

_Fine! Sasuke it is. Let's talk about Sasuke._

_Should I call him in?_

_Do it! Had it been Sai…_

_Once more word about Sai and you're dead._

_You can't kill me, you know._

_I know damnit! But what wouldn't I give to try!_

_Anyway, are you going to open the door now or not?_

Naruto took a deep breath, nodded and turned towards the door to turn the knob.

_Should I keep the towel on or should I take it off?_

_Keep it on._

_Take it off!_

…

…

_Keep it on._

_Man, you're going to be showering with him for a reason you know. Off, it is._

_But what if Sasuke thinks I'm too blatant in my attempt?_

_After what he did…do you still think Sasuke is a virgin?_

_Sasuke never was a virgin to begin with! Besides it was me who initiated it with all my body movements._

_Fine! Pretend to be the virgin then. Don't take it off._

_You know I hate it when you get sarcastic._

_And I hate it when you start acting like a woman._

_I'm gay! What do you expect?_

_Anyway, open the door before he goes away._

_Oh right._

As slowly and softly as he could, Naruto turned the knob just as Sasuke turned away to go.

_You're such a pussy!_

_Shut up!_

"Um, Sasuke…do you…um…want to come in?"

_There, you said it!_

_That was such a bad attempt! Your voice wavered so badly! _

_But I said it, didn't I?_

_Yeah, it is a very big deal for a pussy like you._

_What's with you mocking your own self?_

_Sorry I keep forgetting you and I are parts of the same brain._

_Well, remember it next time asshole!_

_Why do I feel Sasuke is going to refuse?_

_Are you kidding me? He had such a hopeful look on his face when you opened the door._

_Yeah but now his face looks kind of pale._

_Stupid he has that "deer caught in the torchlight" expression._

_Did you just say it out loud?_

_I couldn't help it! My mouth just moved on its own._

_Can this get anymore humiliating?_

_Seriously "torchlight"? Where the hell did you come up with that?_

_And Sasuke did not even answer my question. He just pointed out that it's "headlights"._

_Ask him again._

_That was so bad! Why the hell did you stammer?_

_I'm kind of nervous, okay?_

_Sasuke said yes! Sasuke just said yes!_

_YES! YES! YES!_

_Way to go Naruto!_

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><p>They stepped around each other carefully. Naruto watched Sasuke place his towel in the rack.<p>

_Now what?_

_What do you mean what? Isn't it obvious?_

_What is? _

_You're so dumb Sasuke!_

_Should I go and stand in the shower?_

_Should you go and drown yourself in a pool of shame?_

_What?_

_What? Just go and kiss him already!_

_Why should I be the one to initiate it now?_

_Because you were the one to initiate it last night and you were the one to initiate it this morning._

_Doesn't that make it Naruto's turn to initiate something here?_

_Don't you _know_ Naruto?_

_Yeah, but he _did _open the door to let me in…_

_Stop defending him, will you? What is _wrong _with your sense of self-respect Sasuke?_

_Should I grab him from the back or just take his hand?_

_Back! Definitely back!_

_What if he gets startled?_

_Yeah. He might even throw me off._

_Wrong move!_

_I think I'll just – _

_Oh God! Oh mother-of-all-goodness-with-a-strawberry-condom-on-top-holiness, he just – _

_Yeah Naruto, like that…just like that…_

_You know it's time you did something in return?_

_What grab his dick?_

_Do you want a replay of this morning Sasuke?_

_How about I – _

_…_

_Nghn…_

* * *

><p><em>Congratulations! You just turned Sasuke's brain to goop.<em>

_I know…look at those eyes! I love those clouded, lost eyes._

_Should you take things up another notch now or just continue with this _manipulation_?_

_Let's take it up another notch!_

_Don't you think it's too fast?_

_I think it's per – _

_Ah! Sasuke you scratch like a cat! That _hurt _damnit!_

_If he scratches me again I swear I – _

_Ow! Ow! Ow! I can't believe he pinch – _

_HE PINCHED ME AGAIN!_

_Sasuke you animal! Just you wait!_

_Ah! Take that bastard!_

_Do you realize you just made him hornier?_

_Crap! His leg is heavy man! Why didn't I notice that last night?_

_Maybe because you were too busy fuc – Sasuke that's my hair you pig!_

_I'm going to go bald._

_Seriously_

_Woah! What the hell was _that?

_I can't believe I pulled it off so smoothly!_

_Yeah! With all that hair yanking I had to do something!_

_But that move! You just caught his balls like that and – _

_Sasuke I'll make sure you pay for all the hair I lose today, you monster!_

_Ah I can't take this anymore! He's freaking heavy!_

_The wall…the shower…the toilet seat…_

_God why did it have to be _up _right now of all the times in the world?_

_Just kick it down and make Sasuke kneel – _

_DfhlksfJKDSFLHDA_

_Sasuke you don't push in without warning! True I have a gag reflex but – _

_I'm going to die today!_

_Toilet seat…_now!

_Since when did Sasuke become so heavy?_

_Why won't the toilet seat go down?_

_That's it! If you keep this up I'm going to push you Sasuke!_

_Shit! That must have hurt._

_Good Lord! I'm sorry Sasuke I didn't mean to push you that hard._

_He hates you Naruto!_

_I can make that out without you telling me._

_Looks like his head is going to swell up. Should I go and take a closer inspection?_

_You know if you come within two meters of him, there's every chance you might not be spared even one of your balls – _

_Shit! He's coming towards me!_

_I'm dead! I'm _so _dead!_

_I'm sorry Sasuke! I promise over all the condoms we used last night that – _

_Fuck! What the hell was _that?

_Sasuke…he just…_

_More Sasuke more…_

_I swear that tongue is going to be the death of me…_

_He just bit my lip! _

_I think it's bleeding!_

_What the hell?_

_Sasuke you don't just kiss like that and then bite my lips and then…._

_Ah! Ah!_

_Sasuke you're god! From today onwards I worship every inch of your body from your sissy boy gay-ish hair to your nail cuticles which are digging into my thigh and – _

_I'm close! So close…_

_Damnit! That was so soon!_

_Yeah! There should have been some water action like – _

_Wait Sasuke! Not here! Not like this! Not without lube – _

_Man, you sure know how to use come!_

_Yeah there…_right _there…_

* * *

><p><em>Man…I'm beat!<em>

_That was freaking awesome! Even Neji couldn't have – _

_Shut up! _

_Yeah, sorry…_

_I think…I'm going to pass out…_

_Seriously! Guess I should just shower and get out of here._

_But what about Naruto?_

_What about him?_

_Dude he's still lying on the floor! Shouldn't you...um...help him?_

_I helped him already, remember? Twice?_

_Wait! That's not what I'm talking about._

_Ah! You mean shower together?_

_Yeah._

_Does Naruto look like he can stand?_

_No._

_Does he look like he can shower?_

_No, but -_

_Do what you're supposed to do and get out of here!_

_But - _

_Would like one of those awkward aftermath moments?_

_No...but..._

_Listen Sasuke, use your head! Clean up and get out of here!_

_Wouldn't that be extremely mean to Naruto?_

_Dude! That's what men do!_

_Huh?_

_Why do you have to make it awkward? You fucked, now get out of here._

_Wait! Naruto's getting up._

_He asked me to help him get cleaned up!_

_Isn't this like too much intimacy?_

_Dude, he has come all over his ass. What do you expect?_

_Yeah...but if I touch him again I might be inclined to do naughty things again._

_Naughty? Did you just say naughty? Are you in elementary school?_

_What? Then what the hell should I say?_

_Dude it's just me! You could say fuck or fondle or perverted or fucking _lick _for that matter but naughty?_

_Okay, sorry._

_Oh the water is cold!_

_But it seems Naruto likes it that cold._

_I feel like a cold and drenched rat..._

_Quit the exaggeration Sasuke! You're such a drama queen!_

_Okay, I fucking feel _cold! _Happy now?_

_Should I ask him to turn it to hot?_

_What and ruin the golden silence?_

_Just let him shower first and then you take your turn and get out of here._

_That sounds good._

_Hmm..._

_It's been a while since we've agreed on something right?_

_Yeah bro, you're right._

_What's with the weird look Naruto just threw at you?_

_You don't think it's because - _

_No I don't think it's because of the sex._

_Is it because you're not rubbing his back?_

_Why would I do that?_

_Isn't that what's usually done in showers?_

_You have a point._

_Grab the soap and do it._

_What if he wants me to shampoo his hair instead?_

_Dude, start with the back. If he wants you to get to his hair...we'll see._

_Yeah let's do that._

_Why is this cake of soap so fucking _slippery?

_Ow Naruto can't you be careful? Your foot is heavy you know?_

_Fuck! That just came out wrong!_

_Yeah now he's going to tell you to get out._

_Sorry Naruto...I..._

_Wait he pushed you too, remember?_

_Yeah, that edge of the washbasin nearly killed me!_

_You have the right to be more angry._

_I think you're right! If he doesn't apologize I'm going to - _

_He apologized! Uzumaki Naruto just apologized!_

_It's okay Naruto, it's okay._

_His back is ridiculously sexy!_

_I think I'm going to get lost in it._

_You sound like a lovestruck lunatic._

_So wide and soft..._

_Wipe that grin off your face this instant! You look demented._

_So smooth and hairless..._

_Sasuke was that _drool?

_So close to his neck and I want to - _

_Sasuke you're scrubbing his back too hard._

_I love you Naruto!_

_Shit! That's going to leave a bruise._

_I'll bake you cinnamon cookies and -_

"Sasuke you're scrubbing too hard." Naruto's voice was lost on Sasuke.

"I might buy your favorite ramen for dinner..." Sasuke murmured gazing lovingly at Naruto.

"Why thank you Sasuke. Will you shit rainbows too?" Naruto grinned taking the soap and the wash cloth from Sasuke's hands.

"Anything for you Naruto, anything for you..." Sasuke gushed.

_You're an embarrassment to me and the entire Uchiha clan._

Sasuke smiled like a loon when Naruto went behind him and began scrubbing his back for him.

_Ah this feels good!_

_Stop with those moans and groans._

_I can't seem to! My mouth is moving on its own._

_Shut up completely then!_

_There Naruto...right there...yeah...just like that._

_Sasuke you're going to fall._

_I don't care!_

_Sasuke, Naruto's "little" problem poked you._

_You call that "little"?_

_There we go again..._

_It feels so good! I think I'm going to orgasm again with his hands on my back alone!_

_I think he has other plans..._

_What the hell are you talking about?_

_What I'm trying to say is - _

_NO NARUTO! YOU MOST ABSOLUTELY CERTAINLY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! THIS IS CHEATING! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE LUBE OR COME OR FUCKING LOTION OR -_

_Take that you drooling bitch!_

_No Naruto...no!_

_Ow! Ow! Owwwwwww!_

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be lovely!<strong>_  
><em>


	4. On Staying Over for the Weekend

_**On Staying Over for the Weekend**_

_**A/N: **_So I'm back with the new chapter! Thank you people for your love and support! Unbeta'd (probably because it's three in the freaking morning and I'm posting this just as soon as I finished typing). Kindly overlook minor or major tweaks. I'll be glad if someone could point them out too.

Once again people, please bear with the madness of the mind.

Also, can anyone tell me what's Kakashi's profession in this?

**Warnings: **Those same standard warnings. A lot of mind fuck and a lot of activities.

* * *

><p><em>Naruto is coming over to stay for the weekend!<em>

_Yay!_

_Naruto is coming over to stay for the weekend!_

_Yeah, I got you._

_NARUTO is coming over to stay for the weekend!_

_Would you rather have Neji instead?_

_Shut up! I'm just…ecstatic!_

_You know Sasuke, you've embarrassed me enough. Now please…_

_Naruto is coming over! Naruto is coming over!_

_Sasuke stop dancing this very instant or I might…!_

_Naruto is…Naruto is…_

_Sasuke you really don't know how to dance. Stop shaking so pathetically like that!_

_Naruto…Naruto…_

_Fine, I quit._

_Thank you._

_Your point?_

_I was just trying to grate your nerves and allow myself to win this one time._

_What? Are you insane?_

_No. I'm just someone who hates to lose._

_So do I._

_But this time I won._

_Dude you really must learn to grow up._

_I don't want to._

_And I don't want to fight right now. So, Naruto's coming over tomorrow._

_Yeah!_

_Sasuke, could you please just stop squealing every time we talk about him?_

_I can't help it! I'm just so excited!_

_So am I!_

_Wow there is so much to be done! Things to purchase, rooms to clean, porn to stash away, pubes to shave and…_

_Woah! Calm down will you?_

_What should I start with…? Should I go to the convenience store first or clean my bathroom?_

_Calm down Sasuke!_

_I think I'll just vacuum my bedroom first and then proceed to…_

_Calm down Sasuke!_

_Should I buy fresh flowers too?_

_Are you even listening to me?_

_I think I'll also buy Naruto's favorite brand of ramen!_

_Sasuke?_

_Oh and I can rent a few DVDs! _

_Sasuke?_

_Oh and the new ninja game is out too! Guess I should buy that so that we can challenge each other!_

_Sasuke!_

_Wait, last time didn't I see that orange flavored lube? I think I'll buy that too!_

_SASUKE!_

_What?_

_Dude, calm the fuck down! This isn't the first time Naruto's coming over, remember?_

_But this is the first time as lovers!_

_So what?_

_Are you serious? Dude, I don't want to screw this up, okay?_

_You've screwed up like ten thousand times already! Once more wouldn't hurt!_

_But I want this to be perfect!_

_Perfectionist much?_

_Does that bother you?_

_Of course it does! It hurts my pride as an Uchiha to see you drooling like a puppy._

_Sasuke, I love him. Is that so hard to understand?_

_Sasuke, I love him too but going around making plans like an excited 14 year old is not going to work._

_Okay. You tell me what I should do._

_First of all, make a list of all the chores you need to do._

_Are you serious?_

_Of course! Why wouldn't I be?_

_A list?_

_Yeah! What's wrong with making a list?_

_Sasuke! _Women _make lists._

_Are you less than one?_

_What the hell is that supposed to imply?_

_Nothing._

_No tell me. What the fuck was that supposed to mean?_

_Let's not fight amongst ourselves Sasuke._

_No you first tell me what the hell was that?_

_Do you really have time to start a fight when you know you have less than ten hours till Naruto gets here?_

_Fine! I'll let you off the hook once._

_Thank god!_

_Screw you._

_Anytime Sasuke, anytime…_

…_You just didn't mean that, right?_

_Ew, gross! Sasuke please, okay?_

_Huh. Fine._

_Anyway, what do you think I should begin with?_

_How about bathroom cleaning?_

_How about bedroom first?_

_Bathroom_

_Bedroom_

_Bathroom_

_Bedroom_

_Convenience store!_

_Hey! That's cheating!_

_Haha! Take that!_

_Bedroom_

_Okay bedroom_

Sasuke nodded and headed towards the bedroom.

_What's that stench?_

_Ugh, when was the last time you washed your socks?_

_Don't remember._

_I can't believe this is your room Sasuke!_

_I don't believe it too!_

_When did it get so dirty?_

_I see a set of soiled underpants._

_I see it too._

_Where in the world did your laundry hamper go?_

_Maybe you might find it if you search for it…_

_I know that too dumbass._

_Hey what's that translucent thing sticking out from under the mattress?_

_Don't remember._

_Oh my god! When did this happen?_

_Sasuke you actually had the audacity to jerk off with a condom?_

_Oh the feeling…!_

_Screw the feeling! How the hell did it get under your mattress?_

_Hell if I know!_

_Anyway, I think we need a trashcan before the laundry hamper._

_I think so too!_

_Yuck! What the hell!_

_Fuck! There goes my lube!_

_Can't you see and walk?_

_Damn these clothes!_

_Why are there so many of them on the floor?_

_Why can't you do your laundry on time?_

_Ow! That hurt!_

_Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No! No! No!_

_My favorite Hatake Kakashi DVD!_

_Oh fuck! That one was really good!_

_Yeah…there goes my chance of watching it with Naruto…_

_How the hell did this DVD reach here?_

_Kakashi was such a star in this one with his seven inch – _

_Sasuke…focus!_

_Yeah, they had focused the camera on it so well! _

_Not that kind of focus Sasuke. Naruto's coming tomorrow!_

_Oh yeah. Spaced out there for a bit, sorry!_

_Now let's focus again!_

_Yeah, room cleaning!_

_Right. Room cleaning._

_Hey I just remembered from room cleaning, should I get a maid's costume for tomorrow?_

_What?_

_You know the usual maid thing…_

_Do you think Naruto has kinks like those?_

_Who knows?_

_You are his best friend. You should know._

_Dude we usually don't talk about stuff like that._

_Yeah, all you do is kiss and fuck._

_Got a problem with that?_

_No. So are you going to wear a maid's costume?_

_No idea. Will see later._

_Dude, is that Mitarashi Anko?_

_What the fuck is this magazine doing here?_

_Please tell me that used condom under your mattress is not connected to this._

_It can't be!_

_Thank god you thought of cleaning your room!_

_Yeah! Imagine Naruto's reaction if he would have seen it._

_He would have been shocked is all. No need to get your panties in a twist._

_Oh from panties, I just remembered, are you planning to wear those leopard print – _

_No_

_Okay._

_What is this?_

_I can't believe it was here! I thought it was lost!_

_Yeah! Thank god for the cleaning, dude!_

_Stop jumping up and down with it Sasuke. It looks gross._

_I found it! I found it! Naruto's replacement, I found you!_

_Dude did you just kiss it?_

_Oh how I've missed you!_

_Sasuke, do you realize it's a dildo?_

_So what? It's my friend in lonely times._

_It's still a dildo._

_You don't mind kissing it so much when you're all horny and moaning with your legs – _

_Let's not go there Sasuke. _

_But you are all excited when it enters you. How can you be such a hypocrite?_

_Are we really parts of the same brain?_

_Yeah, why?_

_Then why in the world are we so contradictory? Look dude let's cut the crap and think of Naruto, okay?_

_Okay._

_Deal?_

_Fuck you. Deal._

_Dude what's with that pair of jeans?_

_What the hell is it doing here?_

_Isn't it…_

_Oh fuck! Naruto will kill me if he sees these!_

_Yeah. Stealing someone's favorite pair of jeans is a bad, bad habit._

_Do not start with the lecture again Sasuke._

_Fine sissy boy!_

_Oh by the way, where did my black shirt go?_

_Which one?_

_The black one, which else?_

_Most of your shirts are black Sasuke. It's hard to figure out which one are you thinking about._

_See the visual in our head dumbass!_

_Oh, isn't this the limited edition Icha Icha version?_

_Oh yeah, the one I got free for being the hundredth customer?_

_Oh what a day that was! _

_Remember, out of the blue Naruto had kissed me after that?_

_That shirt must have been my lucky shirt!_

…_Dude, you believe in all that crap?_

_What? Admit it! Without that shirt, Naruto and I would have probably never gotten together!_

_Sasuke don't kill me for saying this, but you're really turning into a woman._

_And whose fault is that for making me like this?_

_I was never the one on insisting you watch TV dramas._

_Oh no of course you weren't! Wasn't it me who began getting curious about the outcome of Gaara's romance?_

_What's with the sarcastic tone? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it._

_Okay and I did and fine I admit that I have a penchant for dramas. So now is the slate clean?_

_Yes. But only for now. Understand?_

_Yes sir._

_Someone would really think we're two people living inside one brain._

_There you started again…_

_Oh look, there's the TV remote! It must be time for a rerun of Yamato's cookery show!_

_Naruto is coming tomorrow._

_It's okay! This won't even take fifteen minutes!_

_Sasuke you have shopping to do too._

_Fifteen minutes I said._

_Do you remember you have to buy hundreds of things?_

_Fifteen minutes, please?_

_You have to buy shampoo, toothbrush, cheese, lube and – _

_Oh he's making a tomato sashimi today!_

_Tomato sashimi you say?_

_Yeah. _

_Fuck shopping._

_Now you're talking! Sometimes I think we can be good frie – _

_Dude where the fuck did you keep the pen and paper?_

…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three hours later<strong>_

_Oh fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

_Calm down Sasuke!_

_Man I haven't done a thing!_

_Calm down Sasuke!_

_How could they broadcast tomato special episodes now when Naruto is supposed to come over tomorrow?_

_Dude KBS doesn't work according to you._

_Keep quite will you! You're the last person I want to talk to right now!_

_You have no choice._

_Fine, tell me what should I do now?_

_First of all, the room…_

_Fuck this shit. I'm going to stash away my clothes in the cupboard, Naruto be damned!_

Sasuke picked up the mounds of clothes and marched to his cupboard. He threw open the door with a flourish and dumped his clothes, paper, trash _et al _inside it and locked it. For good measure.

_Well that's that and no harm done._

_Well done Sasuke!_

_Thank you!_

_Now about the bathroom…_

_Let's get this over with…_

_**Three hours, sixteen minutes and fifty – eight seconds later…**_

_Ow my back hurts!_

_But look at the outcome your apartment sparkles as bright as new!_

_Oh things we do for people we love…_

_Now all that's left is…_

_Shopping._

_You don't sound too excited._

_It's because I'm not._

_Why now?_

_Don't you know?_

_But we're doing this for Naruto man! Buck up!_

_Oh god, why couldn't I be the one to go to his house instead?_

_How about next week?_

_Yeah, that way we can have a payback!_

_Nice idea!_

_This calls for a high – five!_

Sasuke clapped his hands in glee.

_You rock bro!_

_So do you bro!_

_Okay, let's go shopping!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fifteen minutes into the shopping…<strong>_

_Should I buy the red one or the blue one?_

_Blue_

_Red_

_Blue_

_Red_

_Dude it's just a toothbrush! Just pick any!_

_Since you have a red one, take the blue one._

_I know it makes sense but…_

_Don't tell me you want him to use yours by mistake!_

_Are you crazy! No way!_

_Oh no! You're thinking about it, aren't you?_

_You know I am._

_Do it!_

_But wouldn't that be like too much…intimacy?_

_After all that we've done you still think about too much intimacy?_

_But still…what if Naruto finds it weird?_

_You can always lie and say there was no other color available!_

_You're a genius! Now I'm sure I have the Uchiha blood in me!_

_Overreacting pig! Move it now before you change your mind._

_Haha! Right._

_So what next?_

_Shampoo_

_Which brand?_

_Pantene? Dove?_

_How about bird poop?_

_Don't you use Shiseido?_

_I do but I doubt Naruto does._

_So which one does he use?_

_I don't remember._

_Dude do you seriously love him?_

_Is remembering someone's brand of shampoo a part of being in love?_

_Of course it is!_

_What the hell are you talking about?_

_Dude haven't you _seen _Gaara?_

_What does drama have to do with buying a shampoo?_

_Look, don't you remember that episode in which Gaara prepares this special event of his and Shikamaru's hundredth day anniversary?_

_So?_

_Doesn't he buy all of Shikamaru's favorite things just to make it special?_

_Oh yeah the one in which he thinks Shikamaru's favorite condom brand is Durex when it's actually Kimono?_

_Yeah! So now don't screw up like Gaara or you might end up just like him._

_You mean end up on the couch?_

_Yeah._

_You can't be serious! Naruto wouldn't say no to sex even if the sky was fall – _

_You can't take chances with him Sasuke. He always explodes at the most unpredictable moment._

_So what should I do?_

_You mean which shampoo?_

_Try to remember Sasuke…try to remember!_

_I'm sure it was a foreign brand!_

_Was it French?_

_No! No! American for sure!_

_Natural Essence?_

_Yes! That's it!_

_Wait! That orange bottle looks familiar!_

_Asience? Was that the shampoo?_

_Try to remember Sasuke!_

_I guess I will buy Shiseido only._

"If you're buying me a shampoo, then buy Shiseido," a voice behind Sasuke made him jump in fright. He quickly turned in shock but relaxed when he saw the person behind him and smiled instead.

"Dream on Itachi!"

"Now you're being rude little brother." Itachi straightened and took the bottle of shampoo from Sasuke's hands. "By the way, who are you buying the shampoo for?"

Sasuke laughed. "What makes you think I'm buying it for someone?"

"The fact that you've been contemplating since the past ten minutes?" Give it to Itachi to be observant. The man knew Sasuke like the back of his hand.

"Naruto." Itachi nodded understandingly. "So what brings you here?" Sasuke asked taking the bottle of _Shiseido _and placing it in his cart.

"Nothing. Just ran out of orange juice." Itachi said pointing at his cart which contained three tubes of lube. _Orange-flavored _lube.

"So who is it this time?" Sasuke asked pointing at the lube.

"A yoga instructor," Itachi spoke without missing a beat.

"Aren't you going a little overboard with so much of lube?" Sasuke asked.

"Yoga people have a lot of stamina Sasuke," Itachi explained as he pushed his thick black framed glasses up his nose and turned to wheel his cart away. "Oh and Nagato is huge," he added as an afterthought walking away.

_That was way too much information_.

_Now thanks to him I will never look at orange juice with the same eyes again._

_I know. But that moment when Itachi spoke behind you!_

_You know for a second I couldn't think of anything!_

_Anyway, I'm so glad it's not him!_

_Me too!_

_Okay now all that's left is…_

_Lube_

_Right…lube._

_Good lord what in the world is _he _doing here?_

_And was that…is he with Naruto?_

_Dammit!_

_Sasuke are you crazy? _

_What I have to see and make sure they are not doing something they shouldn't!_

_You should have more faith in Naruto!_

_Why Naruto why are you heading towards the condom rack?_

_Sasuke stop peeping like that!_

_I have to make sure he is not trying to make a move on Naruto._

_Still, if you get caught, this could turn humiliating._

_Dude it's _Sai _with Naruto! _Sai _okay?_

_Aren't you overreacting?_

_Wait why is Naruto acting all shy all of a sudden?_

_Yeah, he rubbed his neck right now._

_Why is Sai pulling out boxes of condoms and heaping them into their cart?_

_Does this mean?_

_No! No way!_

_There is no way Naruto could make plans of sleeping with Sai!_

_They were dating in the past._

_HE JUST TRIED TO GROPE NARUTO!_

_STOP THAT YOU FUCKER! NARUTO IS MINE!_

_Sasuke calm down! Screaming in your head isn't going to solve this problem._

_What? He tried to touch Naruto!_

_But didn't Naruto block his hand at the last moment?_

_Oh look Sai is going to the other side._

_Should I go and talk to Naruto?_

_A direct confrontation isn't the best idea._

_We could talk about this tomorrow. Just mention it casually while playing Ultimate Ninjas or something._

_Yeah guess I will do that._

_Hang on, what the fuck is Neji doing here?_

_Oh wait, Neji is with them too._

_Perfect timing_

_Ew, Neji just groped Sai in public._

_Remember when he used to do that to you too in convenience stores and family diners?_

_Yeah! That one time that lady almost ripped all my hair off!_

_Thank god we broke up!_

_Oh fuck! They are coming towards this side!_

_Hurry run! _

_What about lube?_

_Is that really so important?_

_Looks like Naruto picked up a tube._

_We must get out of here, fast!_

_God bless you Naruto! May you and I have the best sex of our lives together!_

_This isn't the time to be waxing poetic about Naruto picking up some lube._

_Oh right._

_The billing counter is also free! Guess I'm lucky today!_

_You should get out of here before your luck runs dry._

_I know okay, I know!_

_Fine!_

* * *

><p>Naruto rang the bell and waited for Sasuke to open the door.<p>

_Do I look good?_

_Of course you do! You're Uzumaki Naruto after all!_

_Hehe. True that._

_You would have also looked cool if you just wore leaves around your ass._

_Now you're boosting my ego._

_No I'm not! Did you look at yourself today?_

_I looked hot, didn't I?_

_Very hot indeed._

_Do you think this present is perfect?_

_Of course it is!_

_But buying this as a present for him isn't exactly appropriate…_

_Dude these are tomatoes! What does Sasuke love the most?_

_My dick and tomatoes!_

_Please next time don't put them in the same statement together._

_That imagery was gross._

_So much for being a mood killer_

_Anyway, straighten your shoulders and stand. How is it that you're always stooping?_

_Hey I guess Sasuke is coming._

_That was so perverted._

_Haha!_

Naruto straightened and grinned up at Sasuke.

"Hi!"

_That was so lame._

_What else was I supposed to say then?_

_You could have said something flirty._

_Yeah, right. Saying something like why are you even wearing clothes seems so right, right?_

_That's not what I mean._

_Anyway, Sasuke looks good._

_Yeah that lilac and black combo looks good on him._

_Naruto, did you just notice the colors Sasuke's wearing?_

_What's wrong with noticing colors?_

_You know, you're right. Sasuke notices my clothes all the time._

"_Naruto, orange isn't exactly a _happening _color…" blah! Blah! Blah! Remember that conversation?_

_You're right man._

_What's wrong with wearing orange?_

_I mean orange is so hep and outgoing!_

_Hell even Sai used to say, "Naruto this color on you turns me on!"_

_But then again, everything about me turned Sai on._

_Wonder why I even left him!_

_You're right. I should have stayed with a guy who loved me._

_But then in all honesty, Sai only loved your dick._

_You're right._

_Sasuke, on the other hand, loves you for who you are._

_Man, why are we even talking about Sai at this moment?_

_Because…_

_Well never mind. Let's get back to Sasuke._

_Jesus Christ Sasuke! Desperate much?_

_But man that tongue…_

_That tongue…_

Tongue…

_Oh no Sasuke, your hands are going in the wrong direction._

_Not so fast dude! I just entered!_

_Fuck I can't think straight when he does this to me!_

_Sasuke dude just stop locking your ankles around my waist and thrust – _

_Ah!_

_Ah! Ah! Ah!_

_Sasuke you horny pig!_

_Oh fuck! There you said it loud again!_

_Why do you have to think while making out?_

_Great now Sasuke looks embarrassed._

_More like humiliated._

_Awesome! Now you might as well pick up your overnight case and say goodbye to the sex._

_Man, I'm so doomed…_

* * *

><p><em>Oh god! Oh God! This is so humiliating!<em>

_I can't believe I just jumped on him like a horny teenager!_

_I wanted to act a little mature for my age!_

_My life is over!_

_And my pants are killing me!_

_Damn it Naruto! Why did you have to stand at my door with such a cute expression on your face?_

_I want to die now!_

_I want to die, I want to die, I want to – _

_NARUTO!_

_That completely took me by surprise!_

_Dude you're ruining my favorite Rasengan shirt!_

_Not my pants you animal – _

_Oh yes…oh yes!_

_Naruto your hands are like magic as they rub me, your teeth a sweet ache as they bite…your lips like fine wine…_

_Oh oh…_

_Sasuke why can't you put a lock on your thoughts in moments like these?_

_Now Naruto has that cat-ate-the-cream expression._

_I can't believe it!_

_Within twenty minutes you humiliated yourself twice!_

_Can this day get any worse?_

_But look Naruto isn't angry!_

_Matter of fact he's – _

_Hah…hah…ah!_

_Naru – _

_Go slo – _

_Okay don't stop! Don't _ever _stop._

_Holy God in heaven who created porn and all its awesome moments - _

_What was his name again?_

_Jira?_

_Jiaiy?_

_Jirai?_

_Jiraiya?_

_Oh yeah, Jiraiya!_

_The man had a mouth like a suction pump! I swear – _

_Naruto!_

_Oh yes Naruto!_

_Just like that Naruto!_

_Oh…_

_Did you watch that DVD too Naruto?_

_Holy mother of stinking panties! Sasuke how could you?_

_Shit!_

_You really should stop thinking while someone blows you, you know?_

_What? It just slipped out okay?_

_Yeah, exactly how your dick is slipping out of Naruto's mou – _

_I know, okay! Tell me what to do?_

_You mean damage repair?_

_Of course fucker! What else would I ask for? Hair spray?_

_Erm, try to laugh it off?_

_Oh no no! That is too obvious. Something along the lines of –_

_No Naruto! How could you even think of something like that?_

_Why would I try to put off sex?_

_No Naruto I most certainly feel like getting a blow job!_

_See that down below?_

_Dammit! I think I will have to make the move now._

_Operation Uzumaki Naruto Seduction – Start!_

_What should I do first?_

_How about taking his hands?_

_How about biting my ass and pissing my pants?_

_What is so wrong in holding hands?_

_We aren't a 12 year-old boy – girl couple Sasuke and this isn't our first date._

_How about – _

_Oh crap! I'm so dead!_

_Why Sasuke why?_

_I don't why!_

_Why did you grab his butt like that?_

_I just couldn't resist!_

_I can understand._

_Oh it feels good! So good!_

_Naruto your smell…the feel of you r shirt against my nose…your silky blond hair against my chin…your hands against my butthole…_

_Oh wait! How the hell did his hands get inside my jeans?_

_Naruto stop pushing me you dumbass! I'll fall!_

_Ow! Ow! Ow!_

_Told you so_

_Oh great! Now just because he thinks he's on top, he can – _

_He just ripped my Rasengan shirt!_

_Naruto you don't just rip people's Rasengan shirts._

_Now you're going to have to buy me a new pair._

_By hook or by croo – _

_Naruto, you sure know how to get down to business!_

_God! Who taught you how to blow?_

_If it were Sai, I swear I'm going to kill – _

_Wait, what the hell is that under the sofa?_

_It looks like a –_

_Oh no way! No fucking way could a used condom be there._

_But then it could be – _

_When was the last time you used the hand – to –dick technique?_

_Last month?_

_Oh no wait! Didn't you rent that Asuma's DVD last week?_

_Or was it last month?_

_Last week I think._

_No wait! Didn't you rent that "Ninja love in Snowland" DVD after that?_

_But then after that it was "Lovers in Sharingan Paradise"._

_Oh that one was memorable…_

_Ack! You don't bite someone's dick Naruto! Hasn't Sai taught you anything?_

_Now get off my think before it swells like a fucking wart!_

_Sorry? You think after ruining that awesome entire suction machine pumping, you can bite my precious bits and expect me to say it's alright?_

_Anyway, stop shifting at the back._

_Dude I said stop going back!_

_Fuck! His hand is right next to the condom._

_No Naruto no. Don't put your hand deeper under the sofa._

_Thank God he lifted his hands!_

_I thought he was going to – _

_Where are you going Uzumaki Naruto?_

_No dude! No fucking way!_

_First you turn your mouth into a sucking machine, then you bite me and now you think of leaving?_

_No way dude! I'm going to – _

_Shit! That hurt._

_At least he didn't leave!_

_Ah it stings!_

_My nose – My nose – My beautiful Uchiha nose!_

_I can't see anymore!_

_Why did I have to trip on my pants?_

_Which reminds me, why did you have to forget to pull up your pants?_

_Naruto was leaving and I wanted to – _

_Darkness…oh you beautiful darkness…_

_Let me embrace you…_

* * *

><p>"He has a broken nose," Sakura looked up from Sasuke's unconscious face to Naruto with curiosity shining bright in her eyes. "Do I even want to know what happened?"<p>

"Probably not." Naruto shot back and sat on the empty seat beside Sasuke.

"Figured as much." Sakura answered dryly. "Anyway, you can take him home once he regains consciousness."

Naruto nodded and gazed sadly at Sasuke's bandaged nose.

_Well there goes my perfect weekend._

_I know!_

_And to think of it, I even bought Sasuke's favorite lube and that ninja game he wanted so much and –_

_Dude, don't mention the fried shrimp._

_I wasn't thinking about it._

_That's better._

_But that tomato soup I had finally perfected – _

_And those boxes of condoms Sai helped me pick – _

_And those scented candles Neji suggested – _

_And that pair of handcuffs I had that blue skinned guy buy me – _

_And that – _

_What was his name anyway?_

_He never told me did he?_

_Anyway, when Sasuke wakes up I guess I will make him some chicken soup when we get home._

_Before that, I hope he doesn't get mad at me._

_But seriously! The way he stood up when he thought I was leaving!_

_And the worst part is, I was only going to pick up some lube._

_Guess I will tell him next time._

_Don't you think I talk more in my head than I do with Sasuke?_

_But then again, men are not into talking much are they?_

_Nope. For them it's more…physical._

_Sex?_

_Dude stop thinking from your precious bits sometimes, okay?_

_I mean action dude!_

_You want it, you do it._

_But then talking is also the key…_

_That was so womanly Naruto!_

_Fuck you!_

…

* * *

><p><em>It hurts…<em>

_Every inch of it hurts._

_My nose…_

_My perfect Uchiha nose!_

_And my perfect weekend…_

_Damn you Naruto, damn you!_

_But then if you see, it gives you a chance to get pampered._

_As it is he has no choice but to stay over for the weekend!_

_Maybe I could even convince him to wear that maid costume –_

_You, Uchiha Sasuke, are a genius!_

_Of course I am!_

A low chuckle escaped Sasuke's lips.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, gently placing his hand on top of Sasuke's.

"Want to wear a maid's costume Naruto?"

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews would be lovely!<strong>


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